do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
