1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
