I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
