somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
not ubering you a puppy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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