And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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