dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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