I'm lost and stupid without you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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