every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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