oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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