he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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