At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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