I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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