Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
