i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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