What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
