I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
