Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
