He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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