dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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