Got a toothbrush?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
