Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
