Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
