I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
