the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I should be sponsored by Trojan
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
