hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
