I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I am available for nakedness
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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