My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
