got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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