i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need moral support for this bender
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
