You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
