This girl is more easily done than said...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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