im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
