I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
