no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it's great music for shaving your balls
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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