As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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