i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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