Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
