the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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