please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
