i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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