Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
