Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
