The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
