I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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