last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
