Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
