You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
