awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
