Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
