cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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